Mental Health Journal #1

Mental Health - Week 1

MESSY THOUGHTS: All in all, it was a pretty good week. I started this blog - and while that took a lot of effort - it was nice to have something to focus on that distracted me from anxious thoughts.

I’ve been having a ton of doubt, really, about the state of my life. I’m on the precipice of changing everything I thought I wanted it to look like. It scares me, partly because I’m such a people pleaser, and to have my family and friends not understand why I don’t want to follow the “common” path of life is extremely nerve-wracking.

But also, I’m scared about not being able to prove to myself that this is what I want to be doing. This is how I want to be living. There’s worth in the work we do, but when it takes so long to see a result, it feels like all the time we’ve spent working has been a waste.

I’m hopeful, though, for the summer. I have to be or else I’ll go crazy. This is the second week since May where I’ve seen real, concrete proof that my life can work this way, so I’m just going to keep… going.

The time will pass anyways, right? Somebody said that on Tumblr or Twitter, I don’t remember, but it’s stuck with me. The time is going to pass no matter what, so I might as well pass it with a passion for what I’m doing.

Here’s a pic of my petunias and marigolds. They’re doing great this summer!

dated Jun 7, 2023

JOURNAL FOR THE FUTURE: I’ll be honest, I haven’t figured this part out yet. What do I know is that the first half of this is extremely messy and all around the place, so I’d like to counter that by having a neat, structured part. I’ll have to find/create a template of sorts, but that should be a fun, little task to complete next week!